Chris (mojonixon) wrote,

The Mojonixon Manifesto

I'm going to tell you how to live your life, not because I like you, not because I care, but because if anyone else told you so, they'd be way more out of their fucking mind than me. I'm the exception to the rule, so pull up a chair and give me your undivided attention.

I've always felt that when you are born and the doctor slaps you on the ass, it's awfully symbolic of how the world will treat you. The only thing missing is him saying, "Welcome to earth, where for the next 74 or so years you will be fucked on a daily basis in that tingling area i just hit. Here is your mom's medical bill. Looks like Stanford won't be in your future."

Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but can you honestly not think of a better analogy? I'm an optimist, and yet for some reason after all is said and done I can't help but recite the timeless cliches of how terrible the world is. I'm sorry, but I've run out of chances to give to "other" people. For once, give yourself a chance and to hell with everyone else. This is what you need to do.

First off, make the world an even bigger cesspool than it already is. Do what you like, say what you like, and try to piss off as many people as possible while doing it. Especially people that are full of themselves and believe strongly in things. Crush their world. Crush their happiness. Most people's happiness impedes yours in some way or another. Consider happiness like a natural resource--it's not as readily available for some as it is for others. The less people that have happiness means a greater chance for your happiness.

Secondly, tell a lot of lies. Lie to yourself, lie to your friends, lie to your family. The world is what you make of it, so construct your world and your truths to fulfill your needs and the way you see things fit. Because let's face it, it's way too boring and depressing the other way. Enjoy living in a fantasy world, because although a fantasy world it may be, it's way better than this one and probably has free cable.

I never understood why in life we always have to make the best of every situation. That's equivalent to playing a game of poker and being dealt the worst hand while trying to go all-in on it. Why can't we face the simple truth? It's a terrible hand, it's not going to win you anything, and it just sucks!
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